I must be losing my touch or something. It’s a well-known fact that my rolling days are over. But even with that knowledge out there, it happens just about every time I’m hanging out for a league night: Some rookie wanders over, strikes up a convo that goes something like this: “Oh, you run SkeeNation? So you must be pretty good then, huh?!?” I tell them I was never very good, but I can roll decent up the middle. Then they want to challenge me once the matches are over.
So I’ll laugh it off or politely decline. If they push the subject, I’ll tell them “fine, but you gotta put $20 down. Best of 3.” 9.5 out of 10 times I win that match, then I’ll play them double or nothing, but I’ll roll left-handed. Gives them a really good chance at getting their cash back, calling it a night, and no hard feelings. That’s seriously how it goes 95% of the time.
But Thursday night in Charlotte rookie Bryan (Sesame Skeet) wanted a piece of me. And wanted a piece of me bad. So I agreed. And I don’t know if I just can’t roll anymore or I was too drunk or not drunk enough or if it was the lane or what, but I rolled like sh*t. So he got his $20. Obviously I played him double or nothing. And he took me down again. $40 gone faster than you can say “Gentleman’s Club”.
So I’m just putting this out there for Raleigh, Chicago, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, etc when I visit you in the next few weeks: I’m not taking any challenges, so don’t bother. This old man has a weak ego and can’t take public humiliation in the form of losing to ugly mofo’s like the guy pictured above. No more late night hustling. Period. Done. (maybe.)