[Ed's note: Gatskee is back with his rambles and recaps from last week. Enjoy!]
Whoa now. This is a rapid fire week, given that I am barely recovered from Thursday. The more skeeball the better, but how is this early week going to affect everyone when we resume normal scheduling hours on Thursday 8/23? That’s a lot of downtime if you miss the upcoming makeup week. The playoffs are approaching quickly, guys.
I don’t have much to complain about this week, so let’s just jump right into what transpired last Thursday. For the 2nd time this skeeson, a girl has cracked the Top 10!! Nichole Boone was first (and subsequently pissed that I failed to give her a shout out) and now Danielle is the 2nd after a pair of monster weeks. She put a stamp on her 368 in Week 4 with a game-winning hundo and last week she obliterated that skeeson high with a 384! That 384 lead Skee Como No to a fantastic 1027 AND major upset over #1 Microllsoft. Suddenly, Skee Como No looks like a possible contender for at least a Final Four spot in the playoffs. They are 5th overall right now, but once all matches are made up, they look to be the 6th seed. These next 3 weeks are HUGE since there could be a ton of movement in the standings so I’m not gonna make any predictions just yet. But right now, Skee Como No is a hot tamale.
It bears note that skeeball isn’t a one man show (unless you are the Great Gatskee) so I must point out that O’Verlord herself also rolled for her own skeeson high 328 and Disco Sisco stepped in as a sub for Wendy and put up an excellent 315 (which would be right about what Wendy would have rolled). These girls came to play. Has an all female team made the Final Four in Raleigh? With the way Danielle is rolling, it could be game ovaries (sorry CT) for a high seed early this skeeson.
Let me also sort of clarify the Top 10 remark (if for nothing else than to ease the ego explosion). Danielle is now #10. Nothing wrong with that, but I’m just saying that she cracked the Top 10 and I’m leaving out the “barely” part of it. Haha!
I’m probably spending a little too much space on this one match, but I’ve gotta tout Evan for Microllsoft as well. Farrell and I sort of created a monster and the first guinea pig was Evan. We brought Boo Man to skeeball and it was awesome. This skeeson has brought with it a serious amount of heckling and trash talking and we love it. Boo Man is a randomly selected Top 10 roller who is booed mercilessly during each of their rolls. It’s best when the whole crowd is partaking as well. The takeaway is handling pressure and you get to choose the following week’s Boo Man. For his part, Evan still rolled very well (371), though that is a low score for him and when I tell you we were merciless, I mean I lost my voice before his match was finished. You can only be chosen Boo Man once and we applaud Evan for being a good sport about it. Sorry it led to a team loss and a low score. But hey, your team is still in first and you and it was hilarious. Sorry for partying.
Last week I declared the rookskee race over because Cory was up 4 points on everyone else. He’s got the graph to prove it too. Well, anyways, Farrell tried to be like “Nooooo, anything can still happen!” Bull$h!t. The race is over. Billy Burrell has this on lockdown and he knows it. Dude rolled a 364 last week to nearly out roll Evan (who may or may not have been a bit distracted)! Brad is doing what he can in 2nd (329) and Half of the Werner Bros. (Alan) got himself back on track with a skeeson high 315 after his skeeson low 218 (yeeeesh) in Week 4. Still, that’s a lot of ground to make up, guys. It is not impossible, and Cory is far from invincible (I keep destroying him in Words With Friends), but you guys are gonna have to hit some serious hundos to make it close.
Speaking of back on track, how about Harry & the Hundosons getting motivated after a call out and going for a skeeson high 984 last week?! Katie took hold of that leadership role like it was a Tuesday Fun Dip Martini and dropped a 351 (with 14 hundos and a combo) and The Rad Russian and Leigh-Ellen both topped 310 (318 and 315 respectively). I know the former Honeybadger is psyched because 315 would be a skeeson high for her and I think it may be the first time she broke 300 (could be wrong?). Harry & the Hundosons have to be in the lead for best team name (well, 2nd best behind Ludicrous Skeed) and with their sweet uniforms, they could be in for a late push for good playoff seed. I don’t doubt the talent on this team one bit. I think they could crack 1000 but the key will have to be the Rad Russian’s hundos.
I’m giving Tennesskee Whiskey a shout too for a big win last week against Bayside high Skeeball Team. They took them down without their captain, Scooter, but you wouldn’t know it given how well Matt Potter rolled. This f@#kin’ guy rolled out of his mind to a 396 and Whiskey got a fantastic final frame from Sprout (who subbed for Scooter) who put up 6 hundos on her way to a 670 frame! It was a close match much of the way, and while I predicted CT to fall after his amazing 450 in Week 4, I didn’t expect a bed $h!tting THIS bad. 302. Dude rolled a 302 after rolling a 450. That score dropped faster than Farrell at the end of the night! [Ed's note: Zing!] I don’t even know how to heckle that. I just feel bad. I mean, well, at least his wife rolled well. Hell, CT didn’t even get heckled!
Just a few more shout outs here. J-Lean (Killer Sharkoonskeez) put up her first Full 40 last week and it was an awesome moment. Some of the highest ranked rollers sort of poke fun at the Full 40 but that is mostly just trash talking each other. Everyone remembers that feeling when you get one for the 1st time. It is flat out awesome. You can’t help but get a little nervous when you know you are close to one too. Full 40s are old school. Nice job, J-Lean. [Ed's note: It's like I always say, just like your first BJ, you'll never forget your first Full 40. The rest of them after that kind of blend together, but that first one sticks with you.]
Props also go out to resident curmudgeon, Don, for his skeeson high 310 last week which has to make Nichole thrilled because she has rolled very well this skeeson but usually has little help from her skeemates. Nothing against them at all, but as a captain it is a very good feeling watching your skeemates roll well. Little Skeesars put up their skeeson high 874 and I don’t see why they couldn’t break 900 if the hundos keep falling for Don and Nichole.
I’m also shouting out my skeemate, Madievil Times, on her 263 last week which would be a career best. More importantly, much of that score came in the 2nd half of our match which leads me to believe she is ready for a breakout. This week, when we have our real uniforms, I’m expecting big things! On that note, I’m rooting for my other skeemate, Allison Chains to break her own skeeson long funk. This girl is capable of a 300 average and I know it is in there somewhere. Please don’t let it be at a free skee when she isn’t on my team though.
Lastly, I owe a belated shout out to Skeeneck T-Shirts’ captain, Sal, the skydiving Crazian for his last two weeks of rolling. He put up a sweet 295 in Week 4 (50pts above his average!) and a 264 last week. If you haven’t chatted him up, you need to do so. Sal is one of the friendliest guys in the league and it’s a good thing too, because dude has some GTLenard-esque arms and I definitely want him on my side when I punch people. Farrell has been rolling for them on and off as a sub (mostly off), [Ed's note: eh, go f*ck ya self!] and now I’m ready for Rodney to have a nice breakout week!
I’ve got my eye on a couple matches this week. First off, Skee Como No took on the #1 last week, ad this week they get #2 Mightskee Ducks. Skee Como No is the only undefeated team left and it will be a big challenge to hold onto that streak. If they can beat Microllsoft though, they can beat anyone. I did predict a 100pt loss to Microllsoft and that didn’t turn out so well. I’m gonna sound like a big hater if I do that again. Especially if Mightskee Ducks come up with another duck fart score like 908. On the other hand… what are the odds that Skee Como No takes down two teams that average over 50pts higher than they do in consecutive weeks?! I have to believe Statboy is gonna go big but what if Evan chooses him as the Boo Man? I think everyone needs to arrive early for this 7pm showdown. **Update: Apparently, Statboy found out that he might be the Boo Man so he bailed and it seems Mike The Mouth Haskins will take his place for this match. Uh oh. Can he keep his rookskees focused on the win? Will he be rusty from not playing this skeeson?! This looks like an upset in the making, folks. Dare I call it? Dare me. Skee Como No… don’t let me down, ladies!!!**
On the other lane is another great showdown. Microllsoft gets a chance to right the ship against #skeeballs. I’m always a fan of friends facing off against one another so the Evan vs. Stone angle is going to be fun. Wheeler expressed to me his disappointment in not getting many callouts this skeeson and he is right. I have largely ignored him… like he has kinda ignored his own team by not showing up a couple times (zing!). I was all set to give him some press, but then #skeeballs rolled in the pits last week. Wheeler was clearly focusing on a certain librarian in high heels all match and it showed. 280 and passed by a girl in the standings. 774 is #skeeballs low for the skeeson (when they have had 3 rollers at least). Ouch. Maybe Sammy returns this week, but I’m keying in on the Wheeler vs. Cory matchup in addition to Stone/Evan. Cory put up a very veteran 364, so many signs point to him taking a nice dive this week. 7pm is too early for him to be tanked, so he might just feel the rookskee pressure and I’m sure Wheeler isn’t pleased about getting leap-frogged by a bald rookskee. I’m calling it. #skeeballs with the upset! Uh oh.
Bayside High Skeeball Team needs a win in the worst way to make up for last weeks collapse. Also, it’s pretty weak to see a high ranking playoff team with a losing record. Of course it will have to come against a surging Harry & the Hundosons at the 10pm spot, so don’t expect any sort of walkover. This is a pretty evenly matched showdown even though the stats have Harry as a 50pt underdog. While CT has been pretty stellar all skeeson (last week notwithstanding), this team has been sort of inconsistent. Every other week they seem to have a big score. Well… this would line up to be that big week. The Hundosons are on the upswing though and might settle in as a squad rolling around 950 or so. Also, with Leigh-Ellen having her wisdom teeth yanked, what happens to the team chemistry? Who subs for them? If Leigh-Ellen braves the pain (or gets sick of Breaking Bad marathons or Evan constantly in her grill) it could be an inspiring moment leading to an emotional upset. Or, they could just have Disco Sisco take her place and still get the upset! Well, it’s 10pm (or 10:30 likely) so anything goes.
The Boo Man cometh, Raleigh. Man I can’t wait for the playoffs and Super Saturday!!!