Posted in Boston Skeeball League
On July 16, 2012
Yeah Duke, I took a vacation! Big whoop, wanna fight about it? I think I’m entitled to a little R&R during a skeeson of excellent articles and mediocre scores on the lane. But the good news is that I’m back, fully rested, and I’ve put my brain to the problem that’s been bugging everybody: who exactly is this Myskeerion character? I’ve applied a little bit of logic and I think I have it all figured out.
First of all, anybody who volunteers to anonymously write an article on a local skeeball league obviously takes this whole thing a little bit too skeeriously. Really, you don’t have anything better to do? I’m pretty sure that our suspect also uses some of his/her extra time to master the skeeball lanes and therefore it has to be somebody at least in the top 10, if not higher. Here is our line-up of suspects, the top 10 from each night:
Chuck Rogers, Brian Aldridge, Ted Pearce, Jay-Jay Ortega, Lisa Ogawa, Sam Reidy, Sean Ellis, Dave Chaput, Pat O’Brien, Jody Brunner, Everett Phillips, Derek Morgan, Frank Davoli, Mike Horoho, Jenn Foxon, Chris Martin, Justin Ries, Lindsay Anne, Mike Mastovich, Steve Robinson
I’m like 90% sure our ghost writer is in that list. So how to narrow it down? Well, I just don’t think anybody would jump in as ghost writer as a rookskee. The articles so far don’t really mention prior skeesons, but I still don’t think we’ve got a first timer on our hands. Sorry Lisa, Dave, and Jenn. You are not Myskeerion. Our remaining suspects:
Chuck Rogers, Brian Aldridge, Ted Pearce, Jay-Jay Ortega, Sam Reidy, Sean Ellis, Pat O’Brien, Jody Brunner, Everett Phillips, Derek Morgan, Frank Davoli, Mike Horoho, Chris Martin, Justin Ries, Lindsay Anne, Mike Mastovich, Steve Robinson
Alright, what next. These stupid nicknames have been a topic of conversation in a few of the articles and I’m going to get all criminal profiler up in here: I think our Myskeerion has been talking so much about nicknames, including bestowing some of his/her own, because he/she wants to be part of the nickname club. Sorry goes out to The Baker, Schmoopy Pants, Beers/Pukes Morgan, Fishsticks, and of course Drunky McCeiling Stare. You are not Myskeerion. Who is left?
Brian Aldridge, Jay-Jay Ortega, Sam Reidy, Sean Ellis, Pat O’Brien, Jody Brunner, Frank Davoli, Mike Horoho, Chris Martin, Justin Ries, Lindsay Anne, Mike Mastovich
Now I’m starting to get a little more unsure. With all of the South Park and Family Guy references, I’m pretty sure we’ve got a man on our hands. Sorry Jody and Lindsay, you are not Myskeerion. We’re down to:
Brian Aldridge, Jay-Jay Ortega, Sam Reidy, Sean Ellis, Pat O’Brien, Frank Davoli, Mike Horoho, Chris Martin, Justin Ries, Mike Mastovich
I’ve spent a lot of time reviewing the Myskeerion articles for a Wednesday or Thursday bias and I’m just not seeing it either way. My guess is our culprit has probably attended both nights on occasion but if I had to guess, I’d say it’s a Thursday native. Sorry Brian, Jay-Jay, Sam, Sean, and Pat. You are not Myskeerion. Down to 5:
Frank Davoli, Mike Horoho, Chris Martin, Justin Ries, Mike Mastovich
I’m pretty sure our Myskeerion has attended every week. Sorry Mike and Chris, you have DNRs on your stat sheets. You are not Myskeerion. The final three:
Frank Davoli, Mike Horoho, Justin Ries
Frank, Mike, or Justin. Hmmmm. Let’s recap: We know that Myskeerion is obsessed with skeeball, male, nicknameless, has attended every week and has probably made an appearance on both nights…wait a minute! Holy Usual Suspects, Batman! The answer has been right in front of me all along! Myskeerion is Duke! Duke is Myskeerion! I kissed a man! (Disclaimer: I did not kiss Duke. This is a joke. It’s from Ace Ventura. Seriously, I didn’t kiss Duke)
Wow, I’m glad we got that all sorted out. Mystery solved…or is it?
Back to the lanes, there are a few things that will be decided this week. Chuck and Here for Beer have a small lead on Brian and Murder Skee Wrote, but both the regular skeeson individual and division championships will be decided on Lane 3 at 9 on Wednesday. Skee there or skee square. On Thursday, the Boston Skee Party is 1017 behind The Cougar Hunters with a makeup still to come. The Thursday hundo title is on the line too. Frank is up by one after hitting 21 in week 7 (WHAT?) but Derek and Everett are right behind. Stay tuned.
Skee you on the lanes and get ready for Super Saturday!