Hey Chuck…what the hell is this Pants bullcrap!?! You can’t just override my horrible nicknames with your own predetermined horrible nicknames and think everything is okay. Not cool broskee. So here’s this week’s nickname: Chuck (or teammate) please post this so-called awesome story of Pants. Duke will set up a poll, asking whether the Pants story is worthy. If not, you get the second leading vote getter. No pressure, Chuck the Schmuck.
Alright, for this week I’ll be picking the week 6 matchups. A word of warning: I’m the person you hate in your March Madness pool. Northern Iowa against Kansas? My cousin goes to Northern Indiana, and northern parts of Midwest States stick together. Syracuse against Vermont? One is a state, the other is just a city. Yes, I really picked both of those. I know way less about basketball than you do and I still beat you every year. And here are my week 6 picks. You heard it here first.
Jackasskees beat Braveheart F Skee. Spoiler alert: they may never take your freedom but they do take your intestines.
Here for beer over I got rookskeed. Apparently these guys are here for more than just beer.
Macaroni & Skeez over OMG Beckskee. Nothing beats Macaroni and cheese. Nothing.
Scandalous skees over Skee you later alligator. After a while, Crocodile!
Dicki Betski over Skeech and Chong. I don’t have a whole lot of faith in Skeech and Chong to do anything that doesn’t involve the munchies.
Holla at your ballas over T L Skee. Nooooooooo. Scruuuuuubs.
Ponzi Skeem over Veni Vidi Viskee. They came, they saw, they invested their life savings with Bernskee Madoff.
We sexskee and we know it over Skillz that Killz. Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle. Nuff said.
New Jerskees over…wait, no opponent? New Jersey wins at something!
A Skee Slater over Alpine Skee Team. Slater doesn’t lose. Period.
N Skee OTB over Whiteskee Bulger. Whitey is a badass but he’s also like 90. Give me the young guns.
Cougar Hunters over D P. If you can tame a cougar, you can tame anything.
Cut a Bitchskee over Bill Braskee. Bill Braskee is a son of a bitch! So therefore I’m guessing cutting him would also work.
Skeeball valentine over Lebowskee Urban Achievers. I don’t get this Valentine name. So they have to be good at skeeball, right?
Boston Skee Party over Monkey Skee Monkey Do. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. It’s also not enough to win.
Chuck “The Schmuck” Noriskee over Skee Amigos. Chuck Norris once punched me in the face. It. Was. AWESOME.
Honey Badger over SUNT. Oh, you have an acronym as a name? Honey Badger don’t give a skeet.
That’s what skee said over No Math. This one just doesn’t add up. LOL!! Get it!!?!!?!
Slowskees over Huskees. Slow and steady wins this race.
Chuck Norriskee over It ain’t skeezy. Chuck Norris is so good at skeeball he wins twice in the same night.
Like a Skee 6 over Pantskees. I don’t know if Chuck/Pants has anything to do with the pantskees but I’m holding it against them anyway.
And there you have it, week 6 results guaranteed. Skee you on the lanes this week.