My favorite thing about football season (other than the Pats bi-annual massacre of the Jets) is when the last few weeks of the season roll around and the “playoff picture” starts to take shape. They always dress up Mike Ditka or some other goon and call him Professor Ditka, because obviously it takes an advanced mathematics degree to know that the 8-7 Bears need the 9-6 Falcons to lose. Thanks Prof.
Well, in Boston, our own playoff picture is beginning to take shape. And fortunately, for those of you who were dozing off during trigonometry, Professor Myskeerion is here to break down the various races.
All of my complex math below assumes everybody makes up their missed weeks so far and rolls at their average. Rookskees, I gotta stress this: make up your weeks. You won’t get to where you want to be with DNRs on the score sheet.
Wednesday Division Title
If the skeeson ended today: #1 Here for Beer, 1044 average
In the mix: #2 Murder Skee Wrote, 1034 average
Prediction: Murder Skee Wrote has a DNR in there, so they have three weeks to go. Can they do it? They need to start putting up some big scores, which they’re capable of. But my money is on Here for Beer. They’re hitting their stride, with an 1109 last week.
Wednesday Top Four
If the skeeson ended today: #3 Braveheart F. Skee (939), #4 Slow Your Roll (923)
In the mix: #5 Alpine Skee Team (922)
Prediction: This one is razor thin. Both Slow your Roll and Alpine Skee Team have a DNR on their record, so its anybody’s game. I’m taking Alpine Skee Team. They started out slowly but have broken 960 two weeks in a row.
Wednesday Top Eight
If the skeeson ended today: #6 Ponzi Skeem (900), #7 Skeech & Chong (872), #8 OMG Beckskee, look at her butt…(839)
In the mix: #9 Mack-a-Roni & Skeese (835)
Prediction: Mack-a-Roni & Skeese is still in the mix, but Beckskee’s two highest scores of the skeeson were the past two weeks. I think things stay as they are.
If the skeeson ended today: #10 Jackasskee’s (819), #11 Veni Vidi ViSkee (810), #12 Skee you Later, Alligator (809), #13 We’re Sexskee and We Know It (805), #14 Skeellz dat Killz (791), #15 Skeebler Elves (765), #16 Dicki Betskee’s (762)
In the mix: #17 T-L-Skee (735), #18 Holla at ya Ballas (729), #19 Scandalous Skees (701)
Prediction: Here is where making sure you get those rolls in really matters. Skeellz dat Killz (Is it just me or does their name spelling keep changing? Just me? Okay, great.) has missed two weeks so they will need to hit the make-up weeks if they want to make the playoffs. My guess is somebody slacks off and a couple of the teams that are currently on the outside looking in find their way into the tourney.
Thursday Division Title
If the skeeson ended today: #1 Cougar Hunters, 1052 average
In the mix: #2 Boston Skee Party, 1040 average
Prediction: After week 3, Boston Skee Party was averaging a 1072 and looked untouchable. The next three weeks were two DNRs and a 945. Add in Cougar Hunters’ 1128 last week, and I say the comeback is complete. Barring a miracle, Cougar Hunters takes it.
Thursday Top Four
If the skeeson ended today: #3 I Got Rookskeed (1003), #4 UConn Huskees (997)
In the mix: #5 The Whiteskee Bulgers (970)
Prediction: Sorry, this one is over. The Whiteskee Bulgers were hot to start but have cooled off significantly since then. Maybe they got roofskeed?
Thursday Top Eight
If the skeeson ended today: #6 D* P* (968), #7 Little Lebowskee Urban Achievers (922), #8 The Skee Amigos (922)
In the mix: #9 It Ain’t Easy Bein Skeezy (910)
Prediction: This one looks to be wrapped up too. It Ain’t Easy Bein Skeezy has been one of the most consistent teams this year, but it also ain’t easy putting up a big score. They’re going to need to find their forty in a big way to make a run at being in the top half of the bracket
If the skeeson ended today: #10 Monkey Skee, Monkey Do (887), #11 Pantskees (877), #12 Skee U Next Thursday (871), #13 Like a Skee 6 (862), #14 I was told there would be no math (860), #15 Chuck Noriskee (846), #16 Bill Braskee (838)
In the mix: #17 New Jerskees (832), #18 Slowskees (824), #19 ASkee Slater (807), #20 Cut a Bitchskee (804), #21 NSkeeOTB (803), #22 Honey Badger Don’t Give a Skeet (796), #23 Skeeball Valentine (777), #24 That’s What Skee Said (737)
Prediction: This is the race I’m really watching. Unlike Wednesday, most of these teams have all their rolls. Except for Honey Badger, but he doesn’t give a skeet . So that means that this race will be settled on the lane. Numbers 17-24 have some work to do, but somebody who is in as of today is sure to falter. A few of these teams are sneaking in.
That’s all for me this week. Skee you guys on the lanes!