Skeeriously, the best thing about a long weekend is that we’re all one day closer to week 3. The worst thing is that we’re hung over, tired, and trying to remember why we threw our phone in Lake Winnipesaukee. Let’s get into it.
Steve Robinson, I didn’t receive that PBR you so graciously offered a few weeks ago, but you earned a mention anyway. Boston’s first official full 50! We all know how tough this one is and how long Steve has been going for it, so congrats! With Boston losing its full 50 virginity, you might think we’ve hit our last “first.” No, you’re wrong. We haven’t. These are the firsts I’m still watching for:
First Perfect Frame
First Female HRT/Champions Chalice Winner
First Completed Around-The-World
First Full Zero (must be unintentional as determined by me, ninety push-ups required)
First Team/Individual Theme Music, original dance moves encouraged
First Team Uniform involving Robots, Ninjas, and/or Pirates. If anybody wants to change their team name to “The Ninja Robot Pirates” I promise this column will become 100% about your team and how awesome they are.
Stat Boy from Raleigh was nice enough to pass along their scores from their moneyball skeeson for reference. The top 4 teams are apparently Super Teams, whatever that means. We have our work cut out for us, “Super” or not those are some impressive scores.
No advanced stats this week because Duke has brought an alarming issue to my attention: Only like 3 people in Boston have nicknames. Skeeriously, we have Stat Boy from Raleigh commenting on my articles and we’re still calling each other by our first names? I’ve heard a few suggestions tossed around, so unless you want to be called White Devil (whoa, that’s harsh), The Whistler, or Drunky McCeilingStare it’s time to step your game up.
So here’s what we’re going to do. Each week I’m going to pick a Boston skeeball personality. In the comments, you will suggest possible nicknames. If there is a consensus, done deal. If there is outstanding discussion, I will be the judge, jury, and executioner. Got it? Good.
This week’s target is Derek Morgan. I think there’s a lot to work with between his skeeball skills, his photoshop skills, and his cougar hunting skills. The dude has a lot of skills. Let’s hear some ideas. Not Captain Morgan. If anybody suggests Captain Morgan you are awarded no points and may God have mercy on your soul.
We’re already a quarter of the way through the skeeson, let’s check on my pre-skeeson picks. Based on this I am really, really super smart.
Wednesday MVP: Chuck Rogers – Second Place
Wednesday Sleeper: Jay-Jay Ortega – Seventh Place, after improving his score by 100 points from Week 1 to Week 2.
Wednesday Top Team: Murder Skee Wrote – First Place
Wednesday Sleeper Team: Alpine SkeeTeam – Fourth Place
Thursday MVP: Everett Phillips – First Place
Thursday Sleeper: Mike Horoho – Twentieth Place
Thursday Top Team: Boston Skee Party – First Place
Thursday Sleeper Team: You Fancy,Huh? – This team doesn’t even exist any more! They split up to form parts of Skee Amigos (Seventh on Thursday) and OMG Beckskee, look at her butt… (Tenth on Wednesday). United we stand, divided we fall.
High Roller Tournament: Derek Morgan over Tom Martin – Second and Eleventh Place on Thursday
Champions Chalice: UConn Huskees over Skeed Row – Sixth Place and last on Thursday because of a DNR. We all know these guys turn it on for the playoffs, I’m not worried.
Plenty of time left but things are starting to take shape. Skee you guys on the lanes this week!