The Great Gatskee Rambles – Week 8

by Farrell on August 30, 2012

[Editor's note: Just read it.]

My, my, my how times flies.  Here we are on the cusp of the Week 8 and the Playoffs are right around the corner, conveniently placed to allow President Obama ample time to make his acceptance speech at the DNC next week in Charlotte.  I’ve got an early look at his speech and he IS supposed to give a shout out to SkeeNation unless he improves something else instead. [Ed's note: Charlotte's shirts this past Super Saturday were DNSkee themed. Pretty cool -- check them out here and here.] Vets like to refer to Week 8 as Rivalry Week since the matches usually include a number of possible playoff match-ups as well as certain teams to back up their skeeson long smack talk.

We have a pretty exciting Top 5 this skeeson and it’s very interesting to come into the final week with so many interchangeable options.  The spotlight has shined mostly on Microllsoft and Mightskee Ducks since they have battled for the top spot all skeeson.  But Tennesskee Whiskey has stayed quiet and well hidden after an early skeeson DNR.  I’m beginning to believe that was very much planned.  What wasn’t planned though was Matt Potter rising up to near elite status though.  Scooter runs this team, and he has been drunk off Chalice-marinated brew.  Dude is expected to be among the top rollers.  But Potter… he of the 383 average since week 5 and peaking with a 403 last week; Potter has broken free and is a legit high roller.  With Scooter and Potter firing on all cylinders and Amanda pushing up (J) from the 3rd spot, it’s hard not to like this team to win it all.

Not so fast though.  The Mightskee Ducks have tailed off a bit in the last couple weeks, but don’t think Statboy is gonna allow his team to sink far.  In what may turn out to be his farewell skeeson, you know he wants to finish at the top.  MVSkee is looking like a done deal unless Evan come up huge this week and Statboy simultaneously $h!ts the Fred’s Bed.  Statboy is pumped and it’s only a matter of how focused WernGraup  is. [Ed's note: Werner Bros. flows off the tongue so much easier. And it's funnier. Come on, G'skee!]  As if we didn’t have enough reasons to keep these guys together, take a look at the individual stats and notice the matching averages!  Awww, isn’t that cute?!

What about Bayside High Skeeball Team, you say?  They are unlikely to leapfrog all the way to the #1 spot but they are still solidified as a top 4 team rolling into the playoffs.  But they are another team peaking at the right time with back to back weeks above 1000.  CT is up in the 370 range and Dawn finally blew right past the 300 plateau on her way to a 317 last week.  Pair that with Brad who is doing everything he can to prevent Cory from running away with Rookskee of the Skeeson honors (338 avg over the last 3 weeks to Cory’s 325).  This is a dangerous team as well.  CT hasn’t won a chalice since the 1st skeeson, so the pressure is on.  I mean, how long can you coast on history, right?! [Ed's note: Yikes! If your goal was to get CT fired up, then job well done!]

Think we are done yet?  Hell no.  How do you ignore how Skee Como No has rolled of late?  Two consecutive wins coming on the 10th frame??!!  First it was DK hitting a game winning hundo a few weeks back to beat #Skeeballs, and last week it was The Sniper coming huge against Skeeber Fever.  Somehow, these ladies hang around to the end and find a way to win.  You just can’t count them out.  I did kind of chuckle at the latest Rolling Times cover though.  I speak very little Spanish aside from taco supreme, Doritos locos and double decker, but even I had to reread the headline that translated to Skee Como NOT ON FIRE.  Is Farrell playing games?  Did Burgundy hack into the headquarters and switch the headline? [Ed's note: Realized after the fact I should have inserted a comma so it read "Skee Como No, En Fuego!", but was too lazy to go back in and edit it. Whatevs.]

My team remains a sneaky dark horse as well.  We rolled a wicked 976 last week and both Madi and Allison came through rolling the best they have all skeeson.  I’m not saying pencil us in for the Final Four just yet, but if my girls are on top (heh), we could be going places.  Gatskee steps up in the playoffs so don’t sleep.  I still have no championship chalices to my name which is nearing the record dry spell of Brian Farrell, SKeeEO himself.  It’s an uphill battle for sure (as is everything when you are Hobbitt-sized) but don’t think I won’t be ready for a surprise run. [Ed's note: Ha! For the record, my first Chalice came in Raleigh (skeeson II) before I won one in Charlotte (Skeeson XI)....which I believe is the dry spell of which Gatskee speaks. Video of that glorious moment can be seen below. Long live Rollin' with the Hoodskees! PS Watch out for a WonderBoy sighting around the 25 second mark!]

 

Let’s talk about Week 8.  It’s Rivalry Week, bitches.

It’s pretty amazing how close the top 3 teams are right now.  Microllsoft is holding onto the #1 spot by only 4pts and Mightskee Ducks trail #2 Tennesskee Whiskey by only 13!  Hell, even #4 Bayside High and #5 Skeeber Fever are only separated by a paltry 16pts!  And if you want to make your head spin even further, consider the 12pt gap between Harry & the Hundosons (#7) and Ludicrous Skeed (#8) or the 36pts that separates the 4 teams near the bottom of the playoff scope!  I honestly don’t remember a skeeson with more moving parts.

7:00p Microllsoft v. Mightskee Ducks

We have been awaiting this matchup all skeeson.  Cory (Microllsoft) has been talking trash non-stop all skeeson and while I still believe he has the Rookskee Crown locked up (or maybe I have just been angling for a boat invite), he HAS been on a slide the last 2 weeks.  Undoubtedly, Cory has straight pwned WernGraup and this will be their final chance at redemption.  But the main attraction here is Evan vs. Statboy for the MVSkee crown.  This is probably Statboy’s last go since he has taken a new job which looks to include much more travel time.  Statboy is more than .5 ahead of Evan but with the drop score, Evan can steal the crown if he rolls big and Statboy collapses.  Anything can happen in this match.  I’m arriving early enough to witness this match and I’m not gonna call the winner.  I just hope Cory and Thomas roll better than they draft.

Ed Hardskee and the Skeeneck T-Shirts square off on the other lane and while it is a fight for the lower end of the playoffs, I don’t want it overlooked that I noticed the fashion connotations here.   Suave.  Mr. Farrell is not one to overlook the playoffs, so this one is gonna be all on Ryan, Alana and Mary G.  If they bring that Week 5 sauce, they should be a lock to win.  Problem is, they usually seem to bring that Every-Other-Week sauce so who the hell knows what to expect!  Consider me on Team Ed Hardskee!  Whatchou think of that SkeeEO??! [Ed's note: silence followed by a single arched eyebrow and a mischievous look aimed in your general direction.]

8pm brings another intriguing matchup with my very own Ludicrous Skeed against You’ll Never Find My Skee-Spot.  It’s intriguing only because Wonderboy and myself are angling for High Roller Tourney seeds.  I’m #4 and he’s #5 and it is probably going to stay that way unless I completely melt down.  The same goes for our teams.  We are technically 8th (Ludicrous Skeed) and 9th (Skee-Spot) but they would have to win by 269 points in order to overtake us.  THAT would be a “legitimate rape.”  That’s not happening.  Still, bragging rights are always on the line so we will be ready.  Just do me a favor and don’t watch Allison when she rolls.  Don’t ask why, just don’t do it.  She’s got all of her off court distractions behind her and this girl is focused… and still blowing fake smoke in your faces.

Skip ahead to 9pm and gear up for Bayside High Skeeball Team who gets a chance to enact revenge from a Week 3 loss to Skee Como NoSkee Como No took that win by only 8pts and you better believe CT is not about to lose to his wife, DK, again.  If you go by the numbers, Bayside should take this one pretty handily given how they have gone over 1000 each of the past 2 weeks.  However, Skee Como No has also surpassed 1000 before and all of their matches seem to stay close (aside from a hammering by Microllsoft in Week 6).  Will Brad continue his push to reach Cory or is he due for a letdown?  What about CT? He went from a 450 down to a 302 in a single week.  What if he is the Boo Man? (Oh, you think I forgot about that $h!t?!).  What happens if Shanna has one of those weeks where the bank is money?  She’s well aware of playoff implications and perfectly capable of coming up big when it counts.  Both DK and Wendy have shown that as well.  Damn, I don’t know what to think!  I think I’ll drink.  Anyone for the Over/Under on # of cigarettes smoked during this match?  I’ll sayyyy… 6. [Ed's note: Hahaha. I'll take the over on that. Way over.]

Little Skeesar gets a chance to douse the hopes and dreams of another team if they roll well at the 10 spot.  They get Harry & The Hundosons (who probably should have been rolling against my team given how we are 12pts behind them for 6th place! Rivalry Week my ass!) which is coming off a strong Week 7 and is another team who could be a dark horse in the playoffs.  Alek, the Rad Russian, is showing some consistency as is Katie Stop-Calling-Me-Norah Connors. [Ed's note: She sneaky loves it. True story.]  I think they still have a shot to break 1000, especially if Leigh-Ellen maintains her recent hot streak.  Her confidence has to be high after a 354 make-up roll on Monday too.  Nichole has dropped from her Top 10 spot earlier this skeeson, but is rolling very nicely these last few weeks.  She is a lock for a 315-320 score which sets a solid tone for her teammates Don and VickyDon has figured some things out and he’s been rolling near 300 (and surpassing it in week 6) and maybe this is the week Little Skeesar reaches for that 900 pepperoni. They are in the 9th spot right now but get the benefit of rolling after everyone else so they will know exactly where they stand by the time they roll.  The Hundosons probably win this one, but it’s really the score that matters to each team, not the Win or Loss.  I’d love to overtake my old teammates in the standings and I’m sure Nichole is not about to be that team that just misses the playoffs. [Ed's note: HUGE advantage for Little Skeesar's rolling last. They get to guide their own destiny, whereas the other 3 bubble teams are just rolling and hoping and praying that their score is good enough. PS Little Ceasar's is some damn good pizza and doesn't get enough love....never mentioned in the same breath as Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Domino's, etc.]

One last thing that catches my eye.  We have a pair of winless teams and it’s a bit of a bummer they aren’t playing one another for that 1st win.  It’s probably safe to say that the lovely ladies of Sushkee Rolls won’t beat Tennesskee Whiskey but there IS a chance for the Rolling Boners to get that 1st win against Killer Sharcoonskeez at the 8pm spot.  Not that I would ever root against J-Lean, who has been rolling quite well in the 2nd half of this skeeson, but I hate seeing teams go winless!!

Playoffs in 2 weeks, guys!  I’m ready for this 3-day weekend!!  It’s high time we float down the Neuse River again too!!  Who’s coming with me! [Ed's note: In. We just have to figure out exactly where it was that we parked / launched from / landed. I have no clue. PS I'm hoping for some massive rains on Sunday so that the river is high come Monday. No more of this dragging my feet/ass along rocks tomfoolery. Side note: Is the liquor store open on Labor Day? If not, I'ma need to stock up on Saturday....]

{ 2 comments }

The Great Gatskee August 30, 2012 at 3:08 pm

first off… Werner Bros. implies that both are related and that Alan is in control. WernGraup gives due credit to Mike and I stand by the fair balance of it. Werner Bros IS easier to say though, but WernGraup is definitely more embarassing.

Furthermore, Little Caesars IS good pizza, though mostly because it is like half the price of the other so we sort of balance the taste with the price.

And lastly… no amount of rain will keep your hefty ass from dragging along the rocks. But regardless, you still better stock up on Saturday, homie!!!

Ev August 30, 2012 at 3:22 pm

i know where we launched and got out, not hard to find. Liqour store will not be open labor day..

Previous post:

Next post: