If I had a nickel dollar (who the f*ck wants a bunch of nickels?!?) for every time a new person at skeeball said this Chuck E. Cheese line, I would legit be a thousandaire. Not even kidding. It’s probably the only thing I don’t miss about being on the front lines and recruiting and mingling and partying every night anymore. But now I hear it from the League Operators all the time: “Hey Farrell, you know what line I get all the damn time from new rollers?” Yup, I honestly do know. And then they seem shocked when I quote it to them basically verbatim.
Listen, I know you used to play at Chuck E. Cheese’s back in the day. So did 99% of folks between the ages of 20 and 40. We’d go there for birthdays or special occasions or if we had a good report card or if our parents wanted to keep us busy for a few hours while drinking some over-priced domestic beer. It was part of your experience as an American youth. And I also know you probably haven’t played the game in decades. Unless you’re a pedo or a carnie, you rarely find yourself near an arcade or fair very often. I get it.
So these days when I hear that line, I either completely ignore it and pretend like I didn’t hear the person, or I get extremely over-excited and say things like “No Way!! Me too! I can’t believe that! Oh my God, that is absolutely crazy – it’s like we were separated at birth! We have so much in common!”
I know the League Ops know what I’m talking about, and I guarantee the old school vets have seen/heard it a couple times as well. Next time you’re at Free Skee event or a registration night with a bunch of new kids, keep your ears open…..guarantee you hear this line a few times.
PS Just once, I’d love to hear someone say something like “Man, skeeball, huh? Last time I played this was two years ago and I was doing coke off a hooker’s a$$ while she was bent over the lane.” A guy can dream, right?
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So what you’re saying is, you hope that one day, Skeenation is on par with a $10/hour hotel? Don’t forget, Farrell, you can charge $5 for the sheets.
Agreed. I hate the Chuck E Cheese reference. When I was a kid (yeah back in the fucking 80′s) I was more interested in playing Galaga or even stealing a swig off the old man’s overpriced beer
(maybe that’s what’s wrong with me). Honestly I don’t even remember skeeball lanes being there. All I remember is those creepy characters who played in that lame muppet band with the maze underneath the stage. I’m surprised Chis Hansen wasn’t there. Maybe all that was after my time. When Gen Y or Z went to Chuck E Cheese I’m sure I was doing keg stands at some frat house. My experience with skeeball was at a local amusement park in high school where I took some 14 year old’s v-card. I guess that’s why I’m a seasoned vet with multiple final four appearances, a Chalice in hand and a HRT trophy in the garage. Let the good times roll.