[Editor: For the past few skeesons, Josh "The Great Gatskee" Ganeles has volunteered his commentary, jokes, insight, and match picks for the league in a weekly column we call Gatskee Gambles. And this skeeson will be no different. Gatskee seems to be more pumped for Skeeson X than any previous skeeson. Perhaps it's because he came thiiiiisssss close to winning the HRT last skeeson. Perhaps it's because he feels his squad is a contender for the Chalice this go around. Or perhaps it's because he's missed berating and belittling you in this weekly column. Either way, if you're a rookie and you haven't met Josh yet, make sure you go out of your way to introduce yourself to him. Otherwise he's liable to omit you from his weekly column. And you don't become a skeelebrity without first being mentioned in the column. Fact. So enjoy. Heeeeeeeerrrrrreeeeee's Gatskee!]
Skeeson X starts tonight and I am as excited about this skeeson as Subway is about burying their subs with avocado. Delicious, yes, but just leave me alone already!! [Ed's note: Dave Stone informed me that they squeeze the avocado/guacamole out of a little packet onto your sandwich. Gross.] I haven’t decided yet whether or not my excitement is the result of actual skeeball storylines or the simple fact that I have something to do on Thursdays again. The dog days of summer are approaching and since baseball is the only sport happening now, the time is ripe for skeeball to grab a piece of the spotlight. I love baseball and it drives me nuts when people ignore it and talk about stupid football (which doesn’t even start for like 4 months!). [Ed's note: I refuse to watch Sportscenter during July/August. Nothing but baseball clips and football speculation. The Olympics are probably saving my life this summer.] Rather than punch all of those people constantly, I find it much more productive to partake in skeeball or Farrell Free Frisbee. [Ed's note: <-----Yag.] So let this be a bit of a welcome to all of you. If you are a veteran roller, you are reading this because you read everything that goes up on the website and you are bored at work. If you are a rookskee, you’ll probably see this in a few weeks once you figure out there is a website. You know, because the skeemails never mention it or anything. [Ed's note: Ha!]
Let’s give a few props first off for O’verlord O’face, who is doing more for NC teachers by allowing a true summer skeeball skeeson than the NC government has done in the last decade. Who loves you? SkeeNation does! Not to be forgotten (just ignored as usual), Wolfpack fans (looks around *crickets*) also get a nice nod with this skeeson artfully designed to not coincide with any football games this season. You won’t be subject to public ridicule when Mike Gleannon throws an interception or Tony Creecy fumbles the ball. You’re welcome. [Ed's note: I'm pretty sure Evan paid O'Face off big time to make that happen, but whatever.]
A few things to be aware of this time around:
- The Great Gatskee is effing back to verbally assault you all (in a good way) from week to week. I may or may not have some new ideas about how to keep my column fresh and not just a soapbox to demean Scotty the Body the whole time. I mean, it’s hard NOT to do that, but I’ll try.
- Many of the top rollers from last skeeson have sort of agreed to not just group together, Miami Heat style and just turn this into a skeeson where only 2 teams have a real chance at winning. The talent has been spread around and believe me, this skeeson is WIDE open. We say that all the time, but it’s actually true for once.
- The schedule is up in FULL right now so mark the skeeball dates on your calendars. Let’s give the Whiskey Queen a break on the schedule requests. Everyone will be rolling early and late at some point, so if you cannot make your time, find a sub rather than trying to change the entire schedule two days beforehand. This league is awesome and you don’t want to miss any of it. Skeeball shouldn’t fit into your schedule. Your schedule should fit into skeeball.
- Come on down to Isaac Hunter’s early and stay late. It’s pretty boring if you just show up in time for your match and then peace out right after. Stay a while. Have a beer. Meet some people. Make fun of Gatskee’s height or his lack of awards while being in this league longer than anyone else.
- Design yourself some awesome uniforms. Don’t be a pansy and rock a stupid bandana every week. Or matching cozies. Do something special! Just don’t do what the USA Olympics apparently did; have their official Team USA garb made in China. For the Olympics. Seriously. Nice job, guys.
- Clear Friday, September 7th and Saturday, September 8th for Super Saturday. Do it now because if you wait, one of your douche co-workers will take that time off and you’ll be stuck inside while the rest of us are throwing down epictime!
Buckle up, Raleigh. Here comes Skeeson X and its gonna be crazier than the Trolley Pub getting pulled over on account of the Police not knowing what the hell it even is!